Realising you can achieve and celebrate

As we grow it is normal to try new things and make our own decisions. As children there are aspects of encouragement that occur from parents, teacher, friends and siblings. This is not the case for everyone as some of the support needed to develop one’s own self-knowledge gets taken or not given. One example maybe older people who tell kids their stupid when there doesn’t seem to be a reason like failing a test. Being called negative things may unfortunately become a daily occurrence.

At times the skills we are building by writing, reading and doing art may be criticised in a way that the siblings may also note things as stupid. So, what might be called stupid? Reading rather than playing with dolls, writing in a diary rather than making sure you get top marks in school, not being sporty, etc. At some point writing, reading and winning isn’t encouraged or seen as an achievement. People can also start to call themselves untrue names as it was done so often to them.

It can seem strange when people also don’t see what they have achieved which can be degrees or training’s that take a lot of skill. I also got caught in that cycle of training in similar yet varied fields without acknowledgement as celebrations were not part of my growing up years. I then saw this was a fairly common trait with some of the people I have assisted over the years.

Those that came from adverse backgrounds were able to achieve yet weren’t able to celebrate. I actually missed my graduation ceremony as I decided more training was needed to make me smart enough. If the ceremony was today of course I would have gone and given myself that chance to honour myself as I can now see my value.

For others they shy away from finishing work or starting training’s as old messages that are not true are holding them back. It is ok to start training at any age as some start as teens and some like my granddad did a degree at 73. This goes for parents as well; those that worked or had a family might actually start a new career in their 30s, 40s or 50s. Starting later is ok because you have an ambition and life experience to guide others in a more helpful way.

Over the pandemic some have given new areas a go and other due to health or anxiety just needed a bit more time so maybe looking at new things to do very soon. You can achieve, start that business, start training or take up activities that will aid one’s future. Some may need some therapy just to get things straight so they can feel more present to learn a new skill.