Why do I feel exhausted when my doctor says I’m ok?

We can be in good health yet feel exhausted by life and it can take a while to figure this out. Sometimes it can be a recent event like a breakup or a child moving out as they are almost adults. We can notice a lot in general life that might have some causes yet at the weekend or on holiday you still feel exhausted. It maybe because your carrying too much of the past and not realise it.

Some of the past might be parents divorcing, being bullied at school or getting your first bike stolen. These can act as markers for some people and they can get quite focused on them while trying to avoid them in present life. So, someone with divorced parents may feel nervous of relationships and someone who was bullied may either withdrawal from life or social engagements or be quite blunt in a way to protect themselves.

Abuse can also have a very strong effect and if not let go of in various ways such as counselling then you can end up carrying that which can be tiring for the body. It is hard to notice who was abused because it’s not the same as an illness that has obvious symptoms like spots or rashes. If a trauma such as abuse is not processed or reviewed it can change the view of the world available. It can make the world seem scary and dangerous; for some they don’t remember as the brain tried to keep you safe. Not remembering anything before the teen years is not normal and constantly jumping if the phone rings or someone knocks on the door is not normal.

Through exploring one’s childhood, one can start to realise what has led to fatigue, dissociation, anxiety, depression, PTSD or other issues. The answer isn’t the same for everyone as some people have been through a lot of abuse and for others their symptoms may have been from a scary hospital stay as a child and or a parent who was travelling for work often leaving a child feeling abandoned even if the other parent was there doing a good job. At times people try to minimise their feelings by saying another person had it worse. Whatever your own experience, that is still negatively affecting you, needs reviewing to help lessen things like fatigue.

Realising that what occurred in childhood was not the responsibility of that child, can really change one’s perspective. Abusers often cause a child to feel the guilt and shame that they should be carrying; that can be logically understood however sometimes the emotions don’t realise that. Over the past decade more and more truths are being revealed whether broken stars like Jimmy Savile, football clubs, stories from boarding schools or homes for children, etc – unfortunately the list is long and many haven’t reported as they are not sure it will be heard. However there are trained counsellors or psychotherapists that can be helpful in becoming less stressed due to symptoms.

Stepping forward rather than stuck in the past

With care
​Olivia